You know how the saying goes: life is too short to not do what you love. But what if you haven’t found your true calling? Not all of us are born knowing in our hearts what we were meant to do in life, or what will make us happy. Learning that can take time. You need to experience something before you can even begin to decide if you want to do it for the rest of your life—or at least the next few years.
So how can we figure out what will make us truly happy? The mere pursuit of happiness fuels a multi-billion dollar industry of products, services and substances all vying to fill the void. The problem is, the answer can only be found within ourselves.
Defining happiness to find your true calling
Toronto-based counsellor, life coach and award-winning author Anthony Santen has an eye-opening theory about how we can break through our own programming to experience happiness and harmony. In his book, The Path Within, he describes how we must define happiness before we can pursue it, and before we understand happiness, it helps to realize what unhappiness is: “The definition of unhappiness is when reality doesn’t meet with our expectations of it.”
Essentially, we feel unhappy when we think that reality should be different than what it is. We expect the Universe to simply deliver what we deserve. As soon as we realize the Universe owes us nothing, we can take control of our own happiness by playing along with the Universe and accepting reality, or as Anthony puts it, accepting what is:
- Accepting what is means being close enough to reality to be able to affect the future through participation and change.
- Accepting what is means being with reality.
- Accepting what is leads to being able to accept opportunities as they present themselves and forgoing endeavors that don’t serve you.
In other words, once you are able to accept reality, it’s easier to make changes in your life that bring you closer to happiness, such as dropping that job you hate or being able to recognize opportunities that will serve you better.
Defining what happiness means to you
In The Path Within, Anthony outlines the rules of happiness:
- You can only make yourself happy
- You are responsible for your own happiness
- Happiness comes from within you as you interact with your reality
With these rules in mind, here are some ways you might interact with your reality, make positive changes, and move closer to finding your true calling, and find greater happiness in your life.
Talk to someone
The simple act of talking about your feelings out loud is an extremely powerful tool for uncovering your inner desires. That could mean speaking to a family member or a trusted friend. For me, that meant going to therapy for the first time ever and having weekly appointments. Through my sessions, I was able to let go of my expectations and recognize opportunities that were better suited to my desires. I pursued one of those opportunities and as a result I felt greater satisfaction in my professional life than I’d ever felt before.
Talk to yourself
If you’re not comfortable talking to someone else, talk to yourself! Writing about your feelings and desires in a journal is another way to gain insight into your view of the world and how you interact with it. You might reveal something hidden in the back of your mind that you weren’t previously aware of.
Observe how you feel during certain tasks
I consider myself to be someone who has found their true calling. As a writer by profession, I lose all track of time when I am writing. Nothing else matters. Anthony calls this, “being in creation”. The act of creating itself is experiencing bliss.
Is there something you do that brings you to the same state of bliss? Maybe there is an element of your current job that you enjoy more than others—how can you do more of that? Simply opening your eyes to that possibility will make you better equipped to snatch it up when it arises.
Recognize when you are procrastinating
Would you rather clean your bathroom than work on a certain commitment? Forgoing your commitments in favour of tasks that are normally on the bottom of your to-do list reveals something about your desires. Perhaps that commitment is no longer serving you and it’s time to let it go.
For example, I used to take on a lot of writing projects that did not interest me, and chalked it up to being lucky to be able to do what I love and get paid for it. I procrastinated until I found myself struggling to finish these projects in the middle of the night before a deadline.
Before my therapy I hadn’t considered that I had a choice in the matter, especially as a freelancer who wasn’t sure where my next paycheque was coming from. Once I realized that I was complacent in this type of work, I made the decision to reduce the amount of soul-sucking writing in my life in favour of the topics and formats that excite me. It was scary but also empowering to turn my sails toward more fulfilling work, and watch as more of it came into my life. As one door closed, more definitely opened, and I got better sleep, too.
What do you often find yourself doing that you don’t get paid for?
Maybe it’s a hobby. Maybe it’s something you do in your spare time without even considering that you could be compensated for it. Why not explore how to turn it into a job?
Let’s go with the seemingly ridiculous example that I really love looking at videos of baby goats on the internet. Who doesn’t? There’s no way I could turn this passion into a job, right? Wrong! The City of Edmonton happens to be hiring a goat coordinator to help implement the GoatWorks program, in which goats roam around city parks munching on weeds to keep them at bay. This job pays up to $43 an hour! Not sure if I’m ready to leave the writing life for full-time goats just yet, but just knowing this opportunity exists makes my heart happy.
Instead of thinking there’s no way to turn your hobby into a job, start asking yourself, “Why not?”
Get outside and experience life
You may have heard the saying that magic happens when you venture outside your comfort zone. Trying new things can open your mind to new possibilities and inspire you to go down a path you may have never considered due to fear or ignorance.
Embrace failure
When you learn how to play with the Universe instead of expecting it to bring you happiness and being disappointed when it doesn’t, perhaps you will get a better idea of what you could do to pursue your true calling. And then what? Fear of failure sometimes prevents us from following our hearts.
In Anthony’s words: “Ban the notion that real happiness is dependent on the absence of pain. Don’t fear active participation in reality for fear of getting hurt. Follow your bliss.”
Have you found your true calling? How did you get there? Share your experience in the comments and perhaps you can inspire someone else to follow their bliss.
About the author: Jessica Grajczyk knew she wanted to be a writer from the moment she picked up a crayon. She loves to write about subcultures and finds inspiration in people who are as passionate about anything as she is about writing… and pickles. Follow her on Twitter.
Photo by Michael Love.